Being 'swept off the feet' by a man is the dream of many women, but for most transwomen moving a relationship with a 'straight' man to physical intimacy and sexual intercourse is immensely stressful and worrying.

Getting Physical
What ever their 'normal' sexual inclination, most post-SRS transwomen have at least a great curiosity about making love to a man as a (virgin) woman, and being vaginally penetrated by his penis until he comes.  For some women this first experience can be wonderful and strongly influence their future sexuality - one transwoman in her late 20's says "I had discovered sex ... a new hobby ... more boys in to bed!".  But for others the experience can become a stressful disappointment, one transwoman in her early 40's says of her first experiences with men:  "Just worried ... I was bored ... have to change the sheets".

Almost inevitably there is some degree of correlation between sexual satisfaction and successful physical feminisation, including high quality surgery.  Good physical feminisation results in more relationships with attractive and 'sexy' partners, and hopefully more enjoyable physical sensations during everything from petting and nipple sucking, to clitoris stimulation and vaginal penetration.  However, it is very difficult to divide physical feminisation decisions made primarily on sexuality grounds from those made on other very important grounds such as increased pass'ability and self image. 

Individual priorities vary dramatically, as the requests made of surgeons in relation to constructing or enhancing the female secondary sexual characteristics of transsexual women show.  Good breasts (the definition of which vary from girl to girl) is often top priority, often followed or preceded by facial feminisation, but the development and subsequent maintenance of a vagina suited to accommodating a penis can be a surprisingly low priority - for older women in particular there seems to be a divergence between intensions at SRS and the reality a few years afterwards.  A reasonable speculation is that some transwomen would prefer having a natural looking vulva area or a sensitive clitoris over good vaginal depth, for sexual reasons that include lesbianism and masturbation desires.  

Getting Mental

The sexually complicated lives that many pre-SRS transsexuals lead is rarely funny for the participants - and on occasion the mans discovery and disappointment has been deadly for the transwoman.

Medical science still hasn't really explained what causes sexual arousal, but there is not doubt that there is a more substantial and important 'mental' element for most women than for most men.  Erotic fantasies are a normal and healthy fact of life for women and transwomen, a few are even able to bring themselves to orgasm though imagination alone, without any physical stimulation - something very rare in men.

During foreplay and love making, women are more likely to imagine that they are  making love to an out-of-reach object of desire (film star, pop star, etc) than men.  Perhaps less comfortably, many girls also have private fantasies involving sadomasochism, sexual harassment, assault and rape, which they use as stimulation during masturbation.  According to Dr Alfred Kinsey, 2% of women can reach orgasm from fantasising alone!

 

Thee Sexual Cycle in a post-SRS Transsexual Woman. Excitement: As the woman becomes aroused, blood starts to accumulate in the pelvic area.   Vaginal lubrication begins - this will generally be closer to genetic female norms the longer since surgery.  (The presence of lubrication does not necessarily mean that a woman is ready for intercourse.  And it's certainly no indication of being close to an orgasm!  Penetration is much more pleasurable if other forms of stimulation are continued for a while longer.)   As sexual stimulation continues, the outer lips, inner lips, and sometimes the breasts begin to look swollen or enlarged.  The clitoris also enlarges - to an embarrassing degree in a few transwomen (this is very difficult for surgeons to get right). Plateau: During this phase, the vaginal lips become even puffier.  The tissues of the walls of the neovagina swell with blood and the opening to the vagina narrows.  Breathing and pulse rate quicken.  A "sex flush" may appear on the stomach, breasts, shoulders, neck, or face.  The areolas of the nipples may swell, even on small breasts.  Many of the woman's muscles - thighs, hips, hands, and buttocks - may tighten. Orgasm: The woman's breathing, pulse rate, and blood pressure continue to rise.  The mounting muscular tension and engorgement of blood vessels reaches a peak.  Orgasm occurs.  Sometimes the orgasm comes with a reflex grasping-type muscular response of the hands and feet.   Some women feel a warmth emanating from their genital area.  Since orgasm is most often triggered by clitoral stimulation or deep penile penetrations (dependent upon the individual and the surgical technique used for her SRS), the excitement usually stops if the stimulation stops.  An incomplete release can be very frustrating!   Consistent and continuous stimulation in the particular way each woman wants it is usually required to bring a woman to orgasm. Resolution: This is when the genitals return to their normal resting state.  This phase can last from a few minutes to a half hour or longer.  Swelling recedes, any sex flush will disappear, and there is a general relaxation of muscular tension.  The clitoris returns to its usual size and position.  Some women experience soreness in their genitals for a while after orgasm.

Sexual Desire and Enjoyment
As ever studies are rare, but the limited available evidence suggests that transsexual women generally resemble genetic females rather than males in their patterns of sexual activity and associated temperamental traits.  On average, when compared with genetic women, transsexual women: 

• Have a similar degree and frequency of sexual desire.

• Are just as sensitive and temperamental, and similarly easy (really!) to sexually excite.

• Have their sexual desires and needs satisfied almost as much as other women, but less than men.

• Have significantly more erotic fantasies, dreams and daydreams.

• Are as likely to adopt a female sexual position during intercourse.

• Are less likely to experience orgasms than other women during intercourse.

• Are less likely to enjoy non-orgasmic sexual sensations during intercourse.

The limitations of even the most aesthetically successful sex-reassignment surgery seems likely to account for the last two points. There is also no doubt that like other women, the libido and sexual enjoyment of transsexual women can vary from negligible to intense, whether or not they are classified as lesbian, bisexual or heterosexual.

 
Physiology, Age, and Sexual Activity
The mere mentioning of "age" opens a can of worms which many transsexual women prefer to ignore - but it's also difficult to ignore that fact that there's a complex relationship between age, sex, and libido.

For genetic women the reality is that their fertility peaks in their late teens when they have an 80+% chance of getting pregnant in any 12 month period if regularly having unprotected sex.  It's no coincidence that women are (putting all correctness aside) at their most beautiful and attractive to men when in their teens - and that their bodies are urging them to find an attractive mate for sex and trap a high calibre partner to look after them (i.e. not necessarily the same man).  Female fertility thereafter starts to decline, dramatically so from age 35 - more than one-in-three women are technically infertile by 45 and the most of the rest rapidly follow, despite a few highly publicised exceptions.

The fertility of men (based in sperm count) probably starts to decline even before women but the average man is actually older than the average women when they have their first acknowledged child. Also the fertility of 35+ men declines more slowly than women, and many men remain technically fertile in to their 50 and even 60's. 

The libido of women seems to decline slower than their fertility, but still faster than men - particularly if 45+ and in a long term relationship where the availability of sexual opportunities doesn't make the heart grow fonder.  In recent years the UK Sunday newspapers have had great fun following the "explosion" of well heel'ed 40-something single female sex tourists, but no one seems to seriously suggests that they approach men in numbers.

As far as I can make out there has been no research that correlates the libido and sexual activity of genetic women with post-SRS transsexual women an age related basis.  In the UK the typical MTF transsexual has SRS surgery when age 35 to 45 - this creates considerable possibilities as regards both the level of their libido and actual sexual activity a year or two before and after surgery.  I have my own suspicions - for example that a 20-year old MTF transwomen has a below female mean level of actual sexual activity before hormones & surgery, but an average or even slightly higher one afterwards.   I look forward to some comments.